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Band 4.5CEFR B1298 words

Currently children have less responsibilities than they had in the past some say this is a good change some argue that it had negative effect on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion based on your personal experience.

The essay addresses both views regarding children's responsibilities and gives a personal opinion, but it suffers from severe grammatical inaccuracies, frequent awkward word cho...

IELTS WritingCEFR B1Checked

Prompt

Currently children have less responsibilities than they had in the past some say this is a good change some argue that it had negative effect on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion based on your personal experience.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

The role of children in community and household has shifted greatly.Some of them thinks that low tier of accountability is advantageous to development of a kid.While,others argue that it indeed distort conducts and attitudes among young generation.This essay will demonstrates various viewpoints and real experiences based on outlook.

The prevalence of little responsibilty on children has some perks which are appreciates by mothers and fathers.In the past,a kid had any duties in front of society such as herd the sheep and many physical house works.But,they are a few commitment to fulfill tasks.The parents emphasizes that our children have a lot of free time to engage education and career.Because now,make a successful future is a actual topic among parents who interes with their youth’s welfare.For instance,Ministry of Science and Education Republic of Azerbaijan has published a journal in 2019 which is talked about 45% adults worrried the children academical life.

On the other hand,some people believe that the lack of responsibilities can make children less independent in society.They already rely on parent care so teenagers may lose their abilities like completing a complex task and obligation.Hence,each teacher at school and leader in organization see parents as guilty.For instance,the Microsoft which is one of the most popular companies always criticizes "the right attitudes in survival environment come from family factor".Furthermore,the responsibility consists of an interest and a plan.According to adults,if children lose their interests on something,they would lose to compile the plan accyrately.To illustrate this,l have lost my responsibility on entering university at covid-19 in 2020,then l approxiamently tried a lot to restore it again.

İn conclusion,the lose of responsibility may brings self-development and more flexible time among teenagers.However,it has some disadvantages such as decreasing a freedom and commitment.From my perspective,each young generation individual should consider his behaviour in advance

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 4.5

CEFR B1 · High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses both views regarding children's responsibilities and gives a personal opinion, but it suffers from severe grammatical inaccuracies, frequent awkward word choices, punctuation lapses, and weak lexical range. Coherence is hindered by awkward transitions, and task response is limited by underdeveloped reasoning and non-standard illustrative examples.

Scoring criteria

Task Response 5.0

Strengths

  • The introduction identifies both sides of the argument and gives a personal perspective.
  • Both body paragraphs attempt to discuss the positive and negative implications of reduced responsibilities.

Weaknesses

  • Ideas are underdeveloped and rely on unconvincing or confusing examples, such as referencing Microsoft or a specific ministry journal in an unnatural way.
  • The conclusion introduces a slightly confused summary ('decreasing a freedom and commitment').

The prompt is addressed, and a position is present, but the support lacks depth, proper extension, and reliable examples, leading to a Band 5.0 score for Task Response.

Coherence & Cohesion 4.5

Strengths

  • Paragraph breaks are present, dividing the introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Weaknesses

  • Cohesive devices and linking structures are frequently misused or clumsy ('Hence, each teacher...', 'To illustrate this...').
  • Sentences often lack smooth progression, resulting in high reader effort and disjointed flow.

While paragraphing is attempted, logical transitions are weak, and referencing is often ambiguous or confusing, restricting Coherence and Cohesion to 4.5.

Lexical Resource 4.5

Strengths

  • Attempts are made to use academic or topic-relevant vocabulary such as 'accountability', 'prevalence', and 'independent'.

Weaknesses

  • Frequent collocation errors and unnatural word choices ('low tier of accountability', 'distort conducts', 'make a successful future').
  • Spelling errors ('accyrately', 'approxiamently') and word form errors recur.

Lexical control is limited, with noticeable strain, non-standard word combinations, and spelling slips throughout, justifying a 4.5 score.

Grammar Range & Accuracy 4.0

Strengths

  • Some complex clause structures are attempted using relative pronouns and subordinate conjunctions.

Weaknesses

  • Pervasive subject-verb agreement errors ('Some of them thinks', 'The parents emphasizes').
  • Frequent tense control issues, fragment sentences, and missing or misplaced punctuation/spacing (e.g., missing spaces after commas and periods throughout).

Grammar and punctuation errors are dense and frequent across simple and complex sentences, heavily impeding readability and resulting in a Band 4.0.

Writing stats

Words
298
Paragraphs
4
Grammar issues
12
Lexical suggestions
8
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