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Band 5.0CEFR B1209 words

Nowadays many young people are attracted to dangerous sports such as snowboarding or mountain biking. What makes these sports so attractive? What measures should be taken to minimize the risks? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt with a visible position, but the task response is underdeveloped, particularly regarding the 'to what extent do you agree or disagree...

IELTS WritingCEFR B1Checked

Prompt

Nowadays many young people are attracted to dangerous sports such as snowboarding or mountain biking. What makes these sports so attractive? What measures should be taken to minimize the risks? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

In this contemporary era, snowboarding and mountain biking are now growing in popularity among youth. Further, in the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss why it is popular and some preventions to reduce the risks.

To begin with, in this current generation people are trying to show themselves distinct from others. To explain it, in the past, this kind of sport were played by only a few people, and at that time, they gained popularity in society. Comparatively, nowadays, youngsters like to do the same thing. Apart from that, organizers are giving a large amount of money to the winner. To extend it, teenagers have big dreams, and they like to accomplish them in their teenage but their pockets do not allow them, then they choose these kinds of dangerous sports. so that's the reason these sports are attractive.

Moreover, there are various measures that can minimize the risks in these sports. First and foremost is proper gear, such as helmets and safety vests. To go into detail, Gears can protect against physical damage to the body. Furthermore, proper safety training for a player, so that they protect themself from obstacles before crashing.

To conclude, these sports connect youngsters to nature and make them strong to stay safe in danger.

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 5.0

CEFR B1 · High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt with a visible position, but the task response is underdeveloped, particularly regarding the 'to what extent do you agree or disagree' element. Cohesion relies heavily on formulaic and repetitive transitional phrases. Vocabulary is basic with noticeable lexical repetition and awkward collocations. Grammatical control shows frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation.

Scoring criteria

Task Response 5.0

Strengths

  • Addresses both direct questions concerning the appeal of extreme sports and potential preventive measures.

Weaknesses

  • Fails to clearly integrate or explicitly answer the 'to what extent do you agree or disagree' part of the prompt.
  • Body paragraphs contain vague assertions and underdeveloped reasoning rather than fully explained examples.

The response touches upon the main task components, but the position is weakly sustained and the 'to what extent' component is largely neglected, matching Band 5 characteristics.

Coherence & Cohesion 5.0

Strengths

  • Paragraphing is attempted with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion.

Weaknesses

  • Relies on repetitive, mechanical signposts ('To begin with', 'To explain it', 'To extend it', 'To go into detail') rather than smooth lexical or structural transitions.
  • Logical progression within paragraphs is fragmented by run-on sentences and disconnected clauses.

Paragraphing is present, but overall progression lacks smooth flow due to repetitive transitional scaffolding and occasional lapses in logical connection.

Lexical Resource 5.0

Strengths

  • Uses some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'snowboarding', 'mountain biking', 'gear', and 'helmets'.

Weaknesses

  • High frequency of basic vocabulary and repetitive expressions ('popular', 'dangerous sports', 'big dreams').
  • Awkward lexical collocations and word choice errors ('preventions', 'physical damage to the body').

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies that restrict the range to Band 5.

Grammar Range & Accuracy 4.5

Strengths

  • Attempts some complex structures using subordinate clauses and infinitive phrases.

Weaknesses

  • Frequent grammatical errors including subject-verb agreement mismatches ('this kind of sport were').
  • Sentence boundary issues such as comma splices and sentence fragments ('so that's the reason these sports are attractive.').
  • Punctuation and capitalization lapses throughout the text.

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally obscure meaning, with basic structures dominating and frequent control slips placing it at Band 4.5/5.0.

Writing stats

Words
209
Paragraphs
4
Grammar issues
5
Lexical suggestions
6
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