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Band 6.0CEFR B2357 words

Some people think climate change has a negative impact on business, while others think that it provides more business options. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear position and supports arguments with examples, though some supporting ideas rely on general assertions. Coherence is gen...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Some people think climate change has a negative impact on business, while others think that it provides more business options. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Over the few decades, climate change has significantly threatened human lives and even business successes. Climate change affects the physical condition for labors negatively and forces companies to take higher cost for energy. However, a range of new business to protect natural environment has been launched, such as renewable energy and electic vehcles which I consider can generate positive cycle in order to prevent climate change from progressing.

To begin with, it is clear that climate change cause work environment to deteriorate. For instance, when employees commute to the office in summer, devastating heatwave would make them get heatstroke. By this illustration, extremely high temprarture allows workers to lower performances, resulting in decrease in whole company's performance. Moreover, business owners should take responsible for maintaining comfortable environment for not only workers but also the quality of products, which leads to higher cost for energy. Discribing recent trends, the development of AI ends up increasing data centers that require a lot of air conditioning systems. This infallibly reflects the cost in order to continue business, and even leads to increasingly environmental destruction.

In contrast, despite the points outlined above, it should also be recognized that climate change have possibilities to create various business opporttunies. For example, not only electric vehcles that do not produce green gas has been becoming a main stream in the car industory, but also many new ventures for renewable energy has been born over a few years. This trend encourage the maret to expand, resulting in economic growth. In addition, the viewpoint for protecting environment has been essential for even investors. Major invest companies tend to focus on ESG comapnies in recent years, which contributes to companies having more attention to the sustainable system. This helps whole business players initiate activities related with prevention for climate change, as experiencing economic growth.

In summary, business people cannot be inevitable to have negative impact by climate change including the effect for employees' health and increasing cost, while a wide range of new business for protecting envinment allows the economy to grow. I strongly believe that this growth can create more environmental activities and make them develop.

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 6.0

CEFR B2 · High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear position and supports arguments with examples, though some supporting ideas rely on general assertions. Coherence is generally good with clear paragraphing, but some mechanical linkers and awkward phrasing recur. Grammatical and lexical control is mixed; there are noticeable issues with articles, subject-verb agreement, spelling, and word choice, alongside some successful complex structures.

Scoring criteria

Task Response 6.5

Strengths

  • Addresses both views on whether climate change harms business or creates options.
  • Presents a clear personal opinion in the introduction and reiterates it in the conclusion.

Weaknesses

  • Some arguments, such as the connection between AI data centers and climate change, are slightly tangential to the core prompt.
  • Certain explanations rely on generalized reasoning rather than tightly focused business analysis.

All parts of the task are addressed with a clear position and developed arguments, satisfying Band 6.5 requirements. However, idea extension and supporting examples occasionally drift into broad assertions, preventing a higher score.

Coherence & Cohesion 6.0

Strengths

  • Clear overall progression with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
  • Appropriate use of paragraph-level topic sentences to guide the reader.

Weaknesses

  • Relies on somewhat formulaic sentence-initial transitions ('To begin with', 'In contrast', 'In summary').
  • Some referential links and cohesive ties are slightly awkward or loose.

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs with a clear overall structure, fitting Band 6.0. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical and referencing lacks seamless integration.

Lexical Resource 6.0

Strengths

  • Attempts topic-specific vocabulary such as 'renewable energy', 'ESG companies', and 'sustainable system'.
  • Demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss business and environmental issues.

Weaknesses

  • Several spelling errors ('electic', 'vehcles', 'temprarture', 'Discribing', 'opporttunies', 'maret', 'comapnies', 'envinment') distract the reader.
  • Inaccurate collocations and word choice errors ('take responsible', 'green gas', 'inevitable to have negative impact').

While there is an attempt to use less common and academic vocabulary, frequent spelling mistakes and collocation inaccuracies place lexical performance solidly in the Band 6.0 range.

Grammar Range & Accuracy 6.0

Strengths

  • Demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including relative clauses and subordinate structures.
  • Attempts advanced clauses and comparisons.

Weaknesses

  • Recurring subject-verb agreement errors ('climate change cause', 'climate change have', 'electric vehcles... has been becoming').
  • Frequent minor article and preposition lapses ('Over the few decades', 'take higher cost', 'lower performances', 'decrease in whole company's performance').

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex structures with good communication of meaning, but frequent grammatical errors across agreement, articles, and verb forms prevent it from reaching Band 6.5.

Writing stats

Words
357
Paragraphs
4
Grammar issues
5
Lexical suggestions
5
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