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Band 6.5CEFR B2275 words

Some people think that governments should pay for education and health care, while others believe that it is not their responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The essay addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views and presenting a clear personal opinion. Cohesion is generally logical, and the vocabulary is sufficient for a...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Some people think that governments should pay for education and health care, while others believe that it is not their responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essay review

Annotated essay

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Some people argue that governments should cover the cost of education and healthcare for their citizens. Some people believe that the cost of education and healthcare of people is the government ‘s responsibility, while others argue that individuals should pay for their education and health by themselves. I believe that most people should pay for these services themselves.

In the modern era, University tuition fees have increased steadily, and medical treatment has also become more expensive . In such circumstances, not everyone can afford these services, so the government should provide financial support to improve people's health. Furthermore, the government should provide scholarships to young people, helping students from low-income families gain access to higher education. This would reduce inequality and improve social mobility. As a result, in the long term better-educated population contributes to the economy and pays higher taxes, which can offset public spending.

On the other hand, I strongly believe that individuals should take responsibility for their own education and health. When the government pays for all people’s education and health care, it leads to higher taxes and also have a negative effect on the government budget. If individuals pay for their own education and health care, they would become more responsible for their future. For example, students who pay part of their tuition are often more motivated to complete their studies because they value the opportunity more highly. In addition, the government should allocate more funding to other sectors such as infrastructure and environmental protection.

In conclusion, although governments should cover the costs of education and healthcare for low-income families, I believe that most people should pay for these services themselves.

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 6.5

CEFR B2 · High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views and presenting a clear personal opinion. Cohesion is generally logical, and the vocabulary is sufficient for academic discourse, featuring some good lexical items and complex structures. However, there are minor issues with article use, spacing, and slight contradictions in stance between the introduction/conclusion and body paragraph two. Grammatical control is mostly solid with some complex attempts, but recurring minor mechanics and punctuation lapses prevent a higher score.

Scoring criteria

Task Response 6.5

Strengths

  • All parts of the prompt are addressed, presenting both sides of the debate regarding government-funded education and healthcare versus individual responsibility.
  • A clear overall stance is maintained throughout the essay and reiterated in the conclusion.
  • Body paragraphs contain relevant explanations and examples, such as the motivation of students who pay their own tuition.

Weaknesses

  • There is a slight internal contradiction in the reasoning: paragraph 2 argues that the government should provide financial support and scholarships to improve health and education, whereas the introduction, paragraph 3, and conclusion state that most people should pay for these services themselves.
  • Some arguments, particularly around public spending offsets, lack deeper elaboration.

The essay successfully addresses all requirements of the task with a clear position, but minor shifts in scope between advocating universal versus targeted government funding prevent a higher band in task response.

Coherence & Cohesion 7.0

Strengths

  • The essay is clearly divided into introduction, body paragraphs addressing distinct viewpoints, and a conclusion.
  • Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'In addition' are used appropriately to guide the reader through the argument.
  • Paragraphs maintain a clear thematic focus around individual responsibility versus state funding.

Weaknesses

  • Some introductory sentences in the first paragraph are repetitive and echo the prompt quite closely.
  • Transitions between sentences occasionally rely on standard mechanical connectors rather than advanced lexical chains.

Clear overall paragraphing and logical sequencing ensure the message is easy to follow, supporting a solid Band 7.0 for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource 6.5

Strengths

  • Appropriate use of academic vocabulary and collocations such as 'higher education', 'social mobility', 'public spending', and 'infrastructure'.
  • Varied terminology is employed across different domains like finance, education, and health care.

Weaknesses

  • Occasional minor lexical repetition, such as reusing 'education and healthcare' and 'pay for their own education and health' multiple times without broad paraphrasing.
  • Slight awkwardness in spacing and punctuation around possessives, such as 'government ‘s'.

The vocabulary is sufficiently wide and accurate for academic discussion, featuring appropriate topic-specific terminology, though occasional repetitiveness limits the score to 6.5.

Grammar Range & Accuracy 6.5

Strengths

  • Demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional clauses ('If individuals pay for their own...') and relative clauses ('...which can offset public spending').
  • Many clauses are grammatically accurate and understandable.

Weaknesses

  • Subject-verb agreement error ('it leads to higher taxes and also have') in body paragraph 3.
  • Punctuation spacing errors around commas and periods, such as spaces before punctuation marks.
  • Unnecessary capitalization of 'University'.

The writer uses a variety of complex sentence forms with generally good control, but recurring minor mechanics and punctuation lapses, alongside one major subject-verb agreement error, anchor the score at 6.5.

Writing stats

Words
275
Paragraphs
4
Grammar issues
4
Lexical suggestions
4
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