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Band 6.0CEFR B2256 words

Wild animals have no use in the 21 century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with question

The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear, though somewhat extreme, viewpoint that wild animals should not be preserved. It attempts both sides of the issue and maint...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Wild animals have no use in the 21 century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with question

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Currently, there is debate among individuals regarding whether wild creatures ought to be conserved or not. In my view, although it might appear like a positive thing, shielding wild animals can be hazardous and cause waste of financial resources. Furthermore, there is a balance and selection in nature and I think humans shouldn't meddle with Mother Naturenature.

First of all, many people want to safeguard wild animals from natural selection, but it may cause numerous losses. The financial situation of the nation is the primary parameter. For example, these sorts of projects require far more funds and it is not simple to find a budget for particularly low-income countries. In these circumstances, it is more rational to save money for other topics such as healthcare and education.

Secondly, attempting to preserve wild animals can trigger dangerous situations for society. Many individuals have been killed or severely injured to protect animals in the wild. This signifies, government also has to find extra funds for hospitalisation costs for these people. As you can see, the expenditures are rising gradually. To protect ourselves and our government, I think we should stay away from the wild.

Consequently, however, people want to help wild animals which are impacted by natural selection, we should realise that it is all about nature, and if we interfere with nature, it won't be good for us either financially or health-wise. So I think trying to preserve wild animals is not necessary at all and we should leave nature alone to protect ourselves and our state.

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 6.0

CEFR B2 · High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear, though somewhat extreme, viewpoint that wild animals should not be preserved. It attempts both sides of the issue and maintains a consistent stance. Organization is generally coherent with distinct paragraphs, though cohesive links are at times mechanical. Lexical range is adequate, featuring some academic expressions alongside basic repetition. Grammatical control is mixed, featuring several errors in article usage, punctuation, and preposition choice, though simple and some complex structures remain clear.

Scoring criteria

Task Response 6.0

Strengths

  • The introduction clearly establishes the writer's perspective.
  • Both body paragraphs provide distinct supporting arguments related to financial costs and physical danger.

Weaknesses

  • Arguments rely on somewhat simplistic reasoning and sweeping assertions without deep extension.
  • The prompt asks 'To what extent do you agree or disagree', and the response leans heavily into a one-sided argument without a nuanced middle ground.

The response addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position, but the ideas are developed with limited depth and rely on somewhat general examples, satisfying Band 6 descriptors.

Coherence & Cohesion 6.0

Strengths

  • The essay is divided into a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
  • Paragraphs feature topic signposts such as 'First of all' and 'Secondly'.

Weaknesses

  • Cohesive devices are somewhat repetitive and mechanical.
  • Reference links occasionally create mild ambiguity, such as 'This signifies, government also has to...'.

Information and ideas are generally arranged coherently with a clear overall progression, though cohesive devices within and between sentences are at times mechanical or faulty, fitting Band 6.

Lexical Resource 6.0

Strengths

  • Incorporates some appropriate academic terms such as 'parameter', 'circumstances', 'hospitalisation costs', and 'financial resources'.

Weaknesses

  • Relies on some repetitive phrasing like 'wild animals' and 'nature'.
  • Contains occasional unnatural collocations and word choices such as 'cause waste of financial resources' and 'other topics'.

The vocabulary is adequate for the task with some less common items attempted, but occasional inaccuracies in collocation and word choice prevent a higher band.

Grammar Range & Accuracy 6.0

Strengths

  • Demonstrates control over simple sentences and attempts some complex structures with subordinate clauses.
  • Tense control is generally consistent across the essay.

Weaknesses

  • Frequent missing articles ('waste of financial resources', 'government also has to').
  • Punctuation lapses, such as comma splices and unnecessary commas before restrictive clauses.
  • A repeated lexical slip with a duplicated word ('Mother Naturenature').

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with moderate accuracy, but frequent minor errors in punctuation and articles prevent higher ratings.

Writing stats

Words
256
Paragraphs
4
Grammar issues
4
Lexical suggestions
4
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